Sunday 29 December 2013

HOW TO EXCEL IN 2014


Hi friends, compliments of the season. 
Its 2 days countdown to the end of 2013 and I’m sure we’ve got great plans ahead for 2014.
Today, being the last Sunday of the year was an awesome moment in God’s presence. The last Sunday sermon for the year was inspirational ‘cos it had to do with the New year we’re almost in. So, I decided to share with us part of the message by my own dearest Pastor(Barr) Odeyemi (AND ALSO ADD FEW TIPS).
1)      Keep The Laws Of God: I’m sure you know we don’t have a say to our lives. God’s the only one who’s got the key to it. The only thing he expects of us is to live that godly life and abide to his laws. Just the way its expected of all citizens in a country to be law-abiding, so also as children of God, we are expected to abide by his laws. Through this, there’d be this “distinct success” in our lives. Excellence in 2014 would come by keeping the laws of God, stop the lies, get yourself attached to God and ensure you adhere to keeping the laws of God.
2)      Dignity in Labor: Work harder and be diligent. Don’t trust in fraud irrespective of that financial status. Hold on to God, believe in him and work harder. Whatever you need to do, “just do it”. Little drops of water make the mighty ocean. Finances shouldn’t hold you down, start with that little money you’ve got. Definitely, it’d turn out big in no time. Infact, through that, God could raise someone to help you out financially.  There’s no time to waste in 2014, its either you DO IT or DO IT. 
3)      Treasure Important Relationships:   Make friends, hang out, be happy but when you get to realize this person ain’t making an impact in your life, my dear, no time to waste time. Please use the exit door. Its high time we get to realize the importance of ‘FRIENDS” in our lives.
 Was discussing with a friend of mine this afternoon, and he kept asking after some friends of mine(I had even forgotten) he knew with me back then before I gained admission into the university. I complained bitterly that I just realized I don’t have friends anymore unlike before, when I’d definitely have someone to check on.
His response was, you shouldn’t have friends in this kind of area. Reason been that, we want people who’d cause a shake in our lives, you should have friends whose lifestyle would be a positive challenge to you. You should have friends that even though you guys might be in the same league, should in one way or the other cause an impact in your lives.  You shouldn’t keep drug addicts or cyber fraudsters as friends, keep realistic people in lane with yours.
4)      Be Yourself: this is all you need to be you. Just don’t make an attempt to fake it, don’t strive to please others, you’d just DIE ‘cos at a point in time, you’d realize you can’t deal anymore. Please, just be you.  That’s all you need make 2014 turn into that realistic year you’ve been waiting for.
5)      Dig Deeper: There’s a school of thought that says successful people achieve their success because of their problems. They find a way to overcome the obstacles in such a way that leads to new oppurtunities,  oppurtunities they would not have had except for the obstacles. No matter what you position or how critical that condition might be, I agree that successful people don’t let the obstacle be an obstacle for long. They face it head and work to overcome it.
If you’re so weighed down with whatever ish you're passing through at the moment. Don't carry over that depression into the new year.
Kenny Kore’s “YOUR PEACE” is my gift to you, try download http://gospelcitynaija.opendrive.com/files/NF8xNjQ4MDg0NF9DaVFyNF82NWE5/YOUR_PEACE_KENNY_KORE.mp3 and listen to it. 
Lyrics’(below) enough to Strenghthen you in the next 48 hours.
Above all, I wish us a Victorious 2014.
Love y’all
Kisses*

YOUR PEACE Lyrics 
It took a while for me to see
What YOU are to me
It’s like water to a thirsty soul
pour you over me
Things don’t always have to go right
Cus you are with me
I can just close my eyes
And shut the world out
I can just close my eyes
And let YOU into me
YOUR peace I find
YOUR peace I find
In the middle of the storm
YOUR peace I find
YOUR peace I find
When the thunder roars
YOUR peace I find
YOUR peace I find
As the battle rages on
YOUR peace I find
Your peace I find
It’s like water washing over me
You didn’t say there’ll be no pain
You didn’t say there’ll be no sorrow
You didn’t say there’ll be no
Struggles
What YOU said is YOU’LL always be there
I know YOU’re here
I know YOU’re near
I know YOU’re here
don’t always feel YOU
But I know YOU’re here
Things don’t always have to go right
Things don’t always have to go right
Things don’t always have to go right
No! Things don’t always have to go right
I can just close my eyes
And shut the world out
I can just close my eyes
And let YOU into me
YOUR peace I find
YOUR Peace I find
In the middle of the storm
YOUR peace I find
YOUR peace I find
When the thunder roars
YOUR peace I find
YOUR peace I find
As the battle rages on
YOUR peace I find
YOUR peace I find
It’s like water washing over me
YOU see DADDY, it’s like water washing over me
I trust YOU, I trust YOUR Word, I trust YOUR Spirit
Every day, like water washing over me…

Monday 16 December 2013

The Art of Giving.

Come to think of it, Next week's Christmas. 
This is not just a season to celebrate but to show Love. If Jesus being the "Reason for The Season"s a gift to us from God. What do you intend doing this Christmas.
 
"Give others all that is alive in us-our interest, understanding, our knowledge, our humor, everything in us that's good. In doing so, we enhance the sense of aliveness in others while enhancing our own. When we give, we get a "heightened vitality" of what it means to be human." - Erich Fromm

True giving comes from the same place inside you as your deepest happiness. They are inexplicably intertwined. A gift is something that is enjoyed twice. First by the giver who revels in the pleasure of giving something special and then also enjoyed by the person who receives the gift.

With our changing economic times, everyone is asking for help in some form. There are as many reasons to give as there are ways to give. Some people give for recognition. They want their names in programs, on park benches and in hospital lobbies. Others give expecting to be paid back or thanked, they give to get. Some people want a hands-on-experience and are generous with their time. Some like to give anonymously and don't want any recognition at all.

People who truly master the art of giving give out of the goodness of their hearts with no self-serving motives. Giving becomes a blessing for the giver and receiver. It's human nature to believe, "When I have more I'll give more." If you come from this mentality you never have enough of anything to give. Generosity is a choice that feels right and joyful. Generosity comes from believing you have enough to share.

You may be a bit skeptical, wondering what exactly do you have to give? Everybody has something of value for another person. It could be a kind word, a simple smile, some appreciation, the sharing of some special knowledge, even a helping hand or a bit of support during a difficult emotional time. You have something to give everyone.

The act of true giving is something wonderful and amazing. With most things in this world, there is only a limited amount of what you can give away. Fortunately, generosity and kindness are not bound to these same material limitations. One of life's most basic laws is "every single act of love, kindness and generosity will multiply and return to you many times over ". The more you give the happier you will feel.

Many thousands of years ago a great sage in Babylon said "The reward of charity depends entirely upon the extent of the kindness in it." It is one of life's wonderful paradoxes that you limit the power of your giving by having an expectation of getting something in return. When you give without any thought or desire for something back, your returns will be truly limitless.

Your life is like a river of energy, continually flowing. What happens when a river stops moving? It get very muddy, and stagnant. A fast flowing river is full of life and clear water. Where would you rather drink? The acts of giving and receiving are a continuous process of circulation that continues the flow of your life's energies. For one person to receive someone else has to give. It's a cycle of energy that flows continually onwards.

Pause for as moment as you read this, and take a big, deep breath. Hold it for as long as you possibly can. As you hold it inside, notice how uncomfortable you begin to feel when you are holding on to something that is meant to be released. Now, breath out, completely and hold your breath with your lungs fully emptied. Feel how uncomfortable you feel when you are resisting taking in something that you need.

True giving, without expectation of anything in return is as effortless as breathing. How often do you expect back from the person you gave something to a gift of a similar or greater value? Is this true giving or merely an unvoiced expectation of an exchange of similar goods? Have you ever heard anyone saying " I just give and give and give until I have nothing left "? This behavior has many other names. Self denial, self pity, martyrdom, self righteousness to name just a few.

This is an ego based form of giving. It is giving with an expectation of something in return. In reality, this is not giving at all but an un-vocalized form of barter. If, through the act of giving, you feel that you have "lost something or are somehow lessened" then the gift was not truly given from your heart. Truly giving something from the heart is an action which will fill your life with joy. This is where the expression to "give whole heartedly" comes from.

The intention behind your giving is the most important thing. The intention should always be to create happiness for both the giver and the receiver. If you experience resentment and a feeling of "I don't really want to give this to this person, but I feel that I have to" or "I really should give them something," this is probably what ultimately will come back to you. Perhaps in this case, you need to consider not giving the gift at all!

What you give out is what comes back in direct proportions to the feelings you have in the act of giving. It's very simple. If you want to experience more joy, give joy to others, if you want more love, learn to give love, if you want attention and appreciation, learn to give appreciation to others. These are some of life's most precious gifts and they don't cost you anything. When you meet someone, you can silently send them a blessing, wishing them happiness, joy and laughter. This kind of silent giving is very powerful. Do this, (with no thought of return) and you will suddenly find people around you opening to you in joy and happiness.

In ancient China, Lao Tsu wrote "Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in Giving Creates Love."

The following are gifts we all have that can benefit others.

  • Give of Your Talents
  • Give someone an hour of coaching. Give things. Clean your home and clear out your closet of unwanted things. Give what you don't use or need to charity. Your junk is someone else's treasure.

  • Give blood
  • Save a life. It's a great feeling to know you are helping to save someone's life.
  • Give of yourself
  • Make someone feel loved, special and appreciated with a visit, phone call, email, text or card. Give a handmade gift. Give praise, gratitude and appreciation. This creates heart-to-heart connections.

  • Give a recommendation
  • Enrich someone's life by sharing the discovery of a great blog, book, restaurant, product or service. The message you give is "This was a great find for me and I want to share it with you."

  • Give the gift of laughter
  • Laughter brings health and happiness to others. It offers physiological, psychological and spiritual benefits. Laugh loud and laugh often with everyone.

  • Give an invitation
  • Being invited to any kind of event means people want to be with you. When you invite someone into your life you are saying, "I want to spend time with you, you are important to me.

  • Give affection
  • Appropriately offer a hug, a kiss on the cheek, a pat on the back, a touch on an arm or a tender look. We never lose the need for affection and acceptance. Touching heals emotional wounds.

  • Give good advice
  • Ask the question, "Do you want advice or to you want me to listen." If needed and wanted advice can be life-saving. Shared insights and wisdom is a precious gift.
  • Give of Your Talents
  • Give blood
  • Give of yourself

  • Give encouragement
  • When people are filled with doubt and fear they lack courage. When you inspire and motivate someone to act on their dreams, it can be life changing. You are making the world a better place.

  • Give without keeping score
  • Real giving is expecting nothing in return. Give when you have the opportunity not because you received something and want to return the favor. Never hesitate to give because you gave last.

  • Give forgiveness
  • Forgiveness offers healing to family, friends, coworkers and neighbors. Forgive yourself and others in spite of memories of unlovable times. Drop the story of what they did and what you did and the meaning you have given it.

  • Give money
  • Giving stuff is easy. We usually don't need or want it... But almost everyone likes to hang on to their money. Giving away money is more difficult because it means less for you. Give money because others need it. Give money because we're dependent on one another.

  • Give an act of kindness
  • Kindness is the easiest and most abundant gift we have to give away. Buy Girl Scout cookies, always open the door for the person behind you, return your grocery cart, make cookies for your neighbor. The list is endless. Kindness brings joy to the giver, receiver and anyone witnessing the act!

  • Give love
  • It's easy to love those who love us back. Challenge yourself to give love to those who deserve it the least. Make your love unconditional. Make the world a more loving place. Everyone will reap the benefits!

The act of giving precludes reciprocity of any kind. It's a manifestation of the love we feel within, just bursting for a way out. True giving flows freely from the heart, with the full force of love and compassion and honest selflessness propelling it forward. Anything less is simply a disguised request for a bartered transaction.

Celebrating Small Victories.

 Do you reward yourself for your accomplishments?
It is important that we take the time to celebrate even our small victories. It is not untill that thing turns out huge before you call for a get- together party or something. Appreciate every little success that comes your way by celebrating it.
 
It's time to take a step back and realize that instead of focusing on all that we're not getting done, we should be focusing on all that we are getting done. I call this the Celebrate the Small Victories approach. The intent is to give a little love to yourself for all of the hard work you put into each day. Spoil yourself.This will make for a much happier existence, boost your self-esteem by placing focus on the positive and likely make you even more productive and energetic as time goes on. You can't lose!

By marking these successes, we make them stick out in our minds. It forces us to acknowledge our progress and increases the likelihood we'll repeat the positive behavior in the future.

Did you have a good day at work today? Did you finish a noteworthy project or deliver a good presentation? Did you close a sale?

For stay-at-home moms, did you survive another day with a toddler? Did the kids get to and from school on time? Did you finish a household chore?

Whatever your goals, be sure to recognize your victories. So, go ahead and treat yourself for all your victories, even the small ones! 
Same thing applies to your birthdays, buy yourself something you've ever wanted that no one knows. I recall buying myself a Personal Make-Up kit as my personal birthday gift. You can get yourself a new iPad/Bible/Phone et al.

  • Give yourself permission to take a day off and relax.

  • Take an hour and listen to some of your favorite music.

  • Go to lunch with your best friend.

  • Buy yourself a new shirt.

  • Throw an impromptu dinner party.

  • Perform a random act of kindness.

  • Go for a walk alone.

  • Go on a date to that new restaurant you've been wanting to try.

  • Call your parents and just act crazy.

  • Spend a couple of hours alone in a beautiful place.

  • Meet someone new at a social gathering.

  • Take a weekend road trip.

  • Get yourself an iPod.

  • Take a long nap.

  • Go see an inspiring movie.

  • Share a bottle of champagne with your spouse.

Small victories are worth celebrating too!

Obviously, this is not an exhaustive list of ways to celebrate, but it should give you plenty of ideas for how to treat yourself. Making your victories special will make them memorable so, go ahead and pat yourself on the back once in awhile. You deserve it!

Sunday 15 December 2013

Happiness Is Sexy.


Happy couple smiling
Confidently Sexy

Be happy

People who have a positive outlook have better lives, partly because a positive attitude is attractive and charming, and people are drawn to it. 
"Yes, happiness is sexy,"The energy we put out is the energy we receive back — and will send a message that will create attraction and interest. "When someone is looking for more than just a one night stand, they look at your life as much as they look at you. If you look like pleasant company, and your life is a happy one, that is very attractive,". Real sexiness is about a lot more than physical beauty!(Ukwu et al)You dig?

Confident people are simply more interesting!

Do you get a spider sense when someone attractive is nearby? Do you become more aware of your senses? Sure, that may be hormones — he's hot!!! — but it could be something else.
"Men think that women who laugh and joke are more attractive and are being flirtatious."
"The switch is a mentality, but is also about communicating interest clearly. While confidence is a hard thing to come by just by wishing/hoping, communicating your romantic interest a little more clearly is generally a good idea because people find interest… well, interesting! That is, one of the most attractive features of a potential partner is that they are interested in you. This is a key component of the Switch and a good way to use your natural style of flirting to your advantage.
"Everyone finds laughing and joking attractive. "Men think that women who laugh and joke are more attractive and are being flirtatious, and women find men who are joking around to be friendlier and more interesting and intelligent too." It's all about emphasizing the positive!

Survival of the fittest

It goes back to the times of evolution. We have to create more of ourselves to survive! "Humans have evolved to be attracted to partners who are likely to improve our odds of survival
Too much stress can lead to premature aging, heart disease and a number of health problems that could interfere with our biological directive to propagate the species. Happiness, by contrast, is an indicator of a healthy state of mind, which is every bit as important — and appealing — as good looks.

Projection of positive

"Receiving attention is validating and a common need for most of us even if we don’t want to admit it. This acknowledgment can come in many forms, but in relationships there is a predominant desire is to feel attractive. Emphasis on physical features is common but they rarely stand alone and with the introduction of other variables, attractiveness can change.
Consider happiness as sexy. Those that display happiness appear more open to engage in a connection by displaying a smile and body language that is playful and inviting. Confidence appears with laughter as one’s ability to express cheerfulness and makes others feel comfortable. Together, happiness and confidence are charming and to guys, they make a woman irresistible.
By learning to be happy and show we are happy, we are actually learning to be sexy at the same time. This means finding the balance of having a strong sense of self, but never taking yourself too seriously.
 

Pharrell Williams' Happy says it all. 

5 Secrets To Keeping The Man You Love.

Happy couple hugging
As women, we love LOVE. We are taught from a very young age that being in love is a defining factor but, unfortunately, many women lose the men they love because they are too in love with love and not in love enough with themselves.

Why you should love yourself first

Put your life first and establish a social life outside of the relationship.
The quickest way to lose a man’s interest is to make him your number one priority. This is not attractive to men who inherently need, desire and want a challenge. Too many women give up their lives for their man and in doing this they become uninteresting. Keep your lives ladies. You have wonderful lives, friends and passions. Never sacrifice those things for a relationship. The more full you are and the more you love yourself, the more your man will love you too.
1

Break routine

We are all creatures of habit and familiarity can feel really good. But don't allow your relationship to get stagnant by always doing what you think your boyfriend wants. Be committed to your life first and then fit him in. This will make you much happier as a person and more attractive to him.

Be confident and turn away from him at times

"To keep your man interested you have to be interesting."
If you feel your man is becoming distant or not as interested, this is a sign that he is becoming bored in the relationship. If he is bored and you check yourself, you will probably see that you are also bored, so all it takes is a little turning away from him, be a little aloof and he will come looking for you. Remember, men are like cats, if you ignore them, they will come and purr at your feet but if you constantly give them attention, they will go away into a solitary place.

Know when to stop talking

Many women live by “communication.” This floods the simple male brain. Men are very basic in the way they think, as science shows, they only use one half of the brain where women have access to both halves. We are designed differently, so we as women need to learn to respect this. Silence allows your man to realize that something may be wrong and this will get him curious enough to ask, which is what you want — then keep it simple.

Don’t chase him

As the old adage states, whatever you chase will run away. Women get needy and desperate and they end up chasing their men. This is not attractive and it shows that you do not value yourself. If you love yourself and you value who you are, then there is no need to chase anyone. Stay contained. If he is pulling away, ignore him. Give him space and he will think. He will also see that you are not in “need” of him and this will pull him back to you.

The bottom line

To keep your man interested, you have to be interesting. To be interesting, you must be passionate about your life, your career, your friends, your children and your hobbies. A great mistake is to make your man your hobby.
A little life message: Love yourself first, love him next and you will have great success.

Principles Woman.

 
Lately, I read Mitchelle Hammond McKinney’s book titled “Secrets of An Irresistible Woman” and sincerely speaking I learnt a Lot. I’m so much in love with that particular book that I’m so willing to lend it out to my female friends.
 I decided to take decisions that’d favor me. I made myself believe I’m worth more than what I or any other person think I am ‘cos I see myself in theLeague of Successful Virtuous women irrespective of however way i've been weighed down.
I have this habit of not just reading, but taking note of points while reading. So here, I got 38 points (plus my own views below each points) of who the Principle woman is (culled from Mitchelle’s Secrets of An Irresistible Woman). Don't be confused, a Principles woman is also a Virtuous Woman.

To all my single sisters reading this, apply and practice the points below and you’d definitely be hooked up soon (and please get a copy of the book as a Christmas present for yourself, there are great contents in there). 
I might as well drop interesting chapters from the book as the Spirit leads(LOL).

Characteristics Of A Principles Woman

1.       1 A Principles Woman have a learned knowledge of who she is and how she should be treated, she also has an understanding.
Its as simple as this "You’re what you think”, if you see yourself as a Queen or Winner, you’d keep dwelling in that line and if reverse is the case, so be it. So sisters, just as my ClassRep would always say“THINK BIG” .

2 A Principles Woman knows what time it Is and she understands EXACTLY what she deserves. I capitalized the word “exactly”  ;cos you have to be sure and accurate of what you want. You don’t just want any job or guy that comes by. You know exactly what you want. You’re not in to manage anything that comes your way ‘cos you know within you that its not EXACTLY what YOU want.

3  A Principles Woman knows who she is in the eyes of God and understands her worth. She is firmly committed to not living beneath her privilege.

4 A Principles Woman position isn’t something she badly proclaims but everything about her actions and the way she carries herself says it.

5 A Principles Woman knows that she is a valuable jewel and that the right discerning eye will see her worth and act accordingly.
Even the bible attested to that in (proverbs31:10-31).  You don’t have to stress yourself out over irrelevant beings who don’t know your worth, you’d only end up wasting your time. Ease your nerves off it and you’d be surprised on how swift things would turn out.

6 A Principles Woman is not only a woman of unsurpassable character, she’s “got it going on” in every way. Her head is together, her heart is together, her spirit is together and she has developed and is actively using her gifts.
She is a person who draws others to her because she has something that everyone wants- she has a certain “joie de vivre” a joy of life that comes from being comfortable with who she is.

7 A Principles Woman knows the promises of God concerning her and keeps them close to her heart. She won’t settle for less than God’s best for herself.
 
8 A Principles Woman is a Well-kept Lady. She keeps herself reserved for those things that are deserving of her ambition.

9 A Principles woman soars above negativity and other people’s trivial opinions. She kniws where she’s going and what she wants, and doesn’t land until she sees her destination and gets clearance from God.
In one sentence “Keep Ranting!No negative Opinion would hit A Principles woman.”.

10. A Principles Woman is quite comfortable flying solo, she knows that she’s never really alone. She only wants a rightly qualified co-pilot to fill the seat beside her.  We know what we want.

11 A Principles Woman is a Lady at all times.

12. A Principles Woman is downright gorgeous.

13 Principles Women know what real love looks like and they settle for nothing less.

14 Principles Women know there is no such thing as “falling in love”. Love is higher than us.

15 Principles Women do not insist on hanging on to Love that fits all wrong.

16 All Principles Women knows they have a “God Ordained Purpose”.

17 Principles Women get busy about the business of their God ordained purpose and are happy people.

18 Principles Women know that a full life is a thing of rare beauty, so treasure every moment of it. You Only 
Live Once so Live Right and enjoy life to its fullest.

19 A Principles Woman is always too busy minding her own business. Your life should be full of activity interest apart from MEN!!! Work to make to make the money to be respected by MEN!.

20 Principles Women knows it profits them to do things by God’s design.

21 Principles Women don’t have that kind of time or emotional energy to waste on A MAN. The BIBLE supports that in Proverbs 4 v 23. So never you HOPE on any guys who doesn’t even think about you for a second. Save that emotions for the right dude.

22 Principles Women cannot afford to make the costly mistake of a blind purchase.

23 Principles Women know how to balance heavenly discernment with good, practical, down to earth sense.

24 Principles Women have grown to understand that there is only one who can be trusted to hold our hearts.

25 A Principles Woman’s presence in the life of a man becomes pivotal in the course of his circumstances.

26 When a Principles Woman is in Love, suddenly she becomes attractive to everyone around her.

27 A Principles Woman knows that if a Husband is what she wants, she needs to keep the way clear for his entrance. She would never friendzone or brozone ‘em the guys. She’d pave way and watch out for the qualified candidate that’s got the right broom to sweep her feet off the ground.

28 A Principles Woman was created to be a help who would meet a SPECIFIC MAN’S need . Keyword => SPECIFIC MAN.

29 A Principles Woman understands the importance of looking out for the wellbeing that concerns her husband.

30 A Principles Wife watches her husband’s back. She uncovers the work of the enemy in her life and covers him in prayer.

31 A good wife knows how to quietly diffuse the mistakes of her husband without making it painful and embarrassing.

32 She ministers Peace, focus and sound reasoning to her husband. She keeps him ever mindful of the call of God upon his life, especially in the face of all his struggles.

33 A Principles Woman comforts, encourages and does her man only good as long as there’s life within him.

34 A Principles Woman is also responsible for her husband’s good reputation.

35 A Principles Wife is trustworthy, industrious, hardworking, energetic, frugal, wise and compassionate.

36Principles Women do not lower their standards and settle for living arrangement that are beneath their station in life.

37 Principles Women do not conduct themselves like the women Timothy spoke about in 2Timothy3 where he states that ‘silly women laden with sins, led away from diverse lust, ever learning and will never be able to come to the knowledge of the truth” would be led away by those who love the pleasure rather than God.

Above All, Principles Women do the right thing at the right time. 
Anwer this question within you, Are you a Principles Woman/Lady or just that random woman/lady?.